Weekly humor archive
THIS WEEKS HUMOR:
A professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture
on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to the first year medical
students.
This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to
lighten up the mood.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you
know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'
She replied, 'Probably golfing with his buddies.'
A man was addressing the ball when an announcement came over
the loud-speaker: "Will the gentleman on hole number one please
not hit from the Ladies' tee box."
The man backs away, a little distracted, then approaches his ball
again. As he does, the same announcement comes over the loud-
speaker: "Will the gentleman on hole number one please not hit from
the Ladies' tee box."
The man is getting irritated now, and after backing away from his
shot - approaches his ball one more time. This time the
announcement came: "We really need the gentleman on hole
number one to move off of the Ladies' tee box!"
To which the man turns around and yells: "And I really need the
announcer to shut up and let me play my second shot!"
Four old men went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf.
The pro asked, "Did you guys have a good game today?"
The first old guy said, "Yes, I had three riders today."
The second old guy said, "I had the most riders ever. I had five."
The third old guy said, "I had seven riders, the same as last time."
The last old man said, "I beat my old record. I had 12 riders today."
After they went into the locker room, another golfer who had heard
the old guys talking about their game went to the pro and said, "I've
been playing golf for a long time and thought I knew all the
terminology of the game, but what's a rider?"
The pro said, "A rider is when you hit the ball far enough to actually
get in the golf cart and ride to it."
"
Four old men went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf.
The pro asked, "Did you guys have a good game today?"
The first old guy said, "Yes, I had three riders today."
The second old guy said, "I had the most riders ever. I had five."
The third old guy said, "I had seven riders, the same as last time."
The last old man said, "I beat my old record. I had 12 riders today."
After they went into the locker room, another golfer who had heard
the old guys talking about their game went to the pro and said, "I've
been playing golf for a long time and thought I knew all the
terminology of the game, but what's a rider?"
The pro said, "A rider is when you hit the ball far enough to actually
get in the golf cart and ride to it."
"
QUOTE WORTH REMEMBERING:
"Keep your sense of humor.
There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad
shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy."
-- Amy Alcott, golfer
The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.
The instructor said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you.
Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles
and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make
plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface like grass or a
path."
"Gentlemen, remember -- you're in this together. It wouldn't hurt you
to go walking with her. In fact, that shared experience would be good
for you both."
The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this information.
After a few moments a man, name unknown, at the back of the room,
slowly raised his hand.
"Yes?" said the Instructor.
"I was just wondering if it would be all right, if she carries a golf bag ?
Golf joke provide by Bryan Hull !!
